I Like My Church Boring and my Pastors Old

Okay, major props to Fr. Craig for this one.

To the tune of "Onward Christian Soldiers."

Like a mighty tortoise
Moves the Church of God.
Brothers we are treading
Where we've always trod.

We are all divided
(Many bodies we);
Very strong on doctrine,
Weak on Charity.

On Episcopalians!
Saunter as to tea!
Taste and etiquette shall
Lead us, Lord, to Thee!